Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
