Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
my liver is dry heaving
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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