Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
