Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Too much gin, very little bucket
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
