I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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