Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
