I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
