you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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