We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
