haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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