his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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