He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
