I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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