i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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