I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
