its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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