I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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