she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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