It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
