break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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