Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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