Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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