all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I could fuck to npr.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
