did you get engaged???
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
