We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
