smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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