P.S. I can't hear my feet
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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