just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
