she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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