is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Randomize