I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
