so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
no, he came in my armpit
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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