Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think your dad took our porno
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
