The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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