butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
