Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
