He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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