You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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