I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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