He disabled his match.com account in front of me
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
