I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
