But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
