I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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