you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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