ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
