we're chasing vodka with high fives
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
