No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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