the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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