I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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