You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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