sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
