Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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