my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize