Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
